Alaska Man's Pick
Highlander: Revenge of the Sword
Starring Adrian Paul as Duncan MacLeod
Written by Aubrey Solomon
Directed by Clay Borris
Review:
As of this writing, it's been close to a year since I've done a review. I may be a bit rusty. But, let's go back to basics here: What are the ingredients of a good Highlander episode? Well, let's see...good villians, good issues, good acting, good fighting. And that makes no mention of the intangibles, the little things that add that extra something to a good episode. For example...take "Prodigal Son", a good, solid episode (see my review). Not a great one, but it qualifies for "good episode" status on several fronts. Good villain? In Martin Hyde, an excellent villain...an Immortal who plays the game for the sheer joy of the hunt and kill. Good issues? Okay, maybe a little weak here, but the dilemma facing MacLeod with Richie in jail for a crime only Hyde can clear him of is pretty darn good. Maybe not high moral drama, but a good tension-maker. Good acting? You betcha. Adrian Paul and Stan Kirsch have some priceless scenes together, and both actors do a wonderful job of portraying the friendship of Richie and MacLeod. The opening barge scene is a good example.
So, I've made a solid case for "Prodigal Son" being a good episode. But, to make it even better, little things helped a lot. For the Frus among us, the great shot of Richie's baby blues through the jail bars was a good one. The final scene with the unscripted crack-up is a keeper. I won't go into all the little tidbits I could mention, simply because I'd fall short of hitting all the intangibles that made that episode enjoyable. Each really good episode of this show had dozens of these scenes, and no two fans notice the same ones.
My point? Well, my point is..."Revenge of the Sword" really only had one such moment, and it didn't do much to resurrect an otherwise lousy episode. See, the intangibles don't count for much when the main elements of a good episode are already missing. Good villain? Hardly. Robert Ito's Johnny Leong is too stereotyped and stiff to really have an impact. Besides, let's face it, the truly good villains are K'immies (Horton is the most notable exception here). Good issues? Umm...no. Yes, there's the "finding myself" element here, but it's not played out well. Good acting? Actually, very little of this. Adrian Paul is an able, sometimes brilliant actor, but he's way underused here. I've never been all that impressed with Philip Akin's Charlie, and the supporting cast does very little to help here. The one bright spot could have been Grandfather Lao, but even he was stilted and full of cliche. The one element in which this episode hits solidly is the pure testosterone level. Good fighting. Dustin Nguyen is a fantastic fighter, and it's great to see him cross swords with AP. It's also refreshing that in the final fight, DM has something of a difficult time cold-clocking the thugs.
So, that's one criterium out of four. Not good. Still, this episode did a very few things right, and I'll be sure to highlight them. With that, let's begin.
As the episode opens, Charlie is closing up the dojo and leaving for the night. It's dark, and there's lots of thunder and lighting. Kind of odd for the Northwest, but we'll let that go, especially since the scene isn't what it seems. He suddenly stops, confronted by men in ninja costumes, demanding money. Charlie tells them to buzz off, that he won't pay. A fight ensues. It would've been nice to see more of it. Alternating between too dark and too light, it's hard to make out a lot of the movements. However, Charlie is clearly winning. One of the attackers pulls a knife and makes to attack, but changes his mind and throws it. Charlie looks down to note that his heart has been pierced by a foreign object. His would-be killer stands over him and says, "Everyone pays."
At this point, the viewer is confused. Is Charlie going to die? But then, the lights turn on, and Bruce Lee is on the scene! But, waitasec...is that Bruce, or is it Memorex? Well, whoever it is, he's dressed in the typical black pants and no shirt, and proceeds to strut onto the scene. The ninjas attack, but he's too quick for them, taking them out if not quickly, then with over-abundant flare. After wasting time showing up the baddies, our hero finally notices Charlie lying inert on the floor. He kneels beside him, cradling him, and cries out, "Charlie!!!".....
....at which point the director yells, "Cut!" Of course, we now realize that this is a movie, titled "Revenge of the Sword". Charlie gets up, and MacLeod appears. In the ensuing conversation, we find out that Jimmy Sang, the Bruce Lee star of the movie, is a former pupil of Charlie's. Charlie comments that "the kid's gonna be a star," to which Jimmy responds that he already is, and walks away asking for his ginseng tea. MacLeod turns to Charlie and asks, "You teach him humility, too?" Hehehe. Charlie answers that obviously Jimmy's still in character.
The producer then shows up and thanks MacLeod for the free use of the dojo. MacLeod charms her a bit, saying he thought she was an actress. Some guys just never turn it off. She notices one of the ninja guys is still on the floor, and tells him that it's break time. When he doesn't move, MacLeod goes over to check him. He looks him over, checking for a carotid pulse. He's dead, Jim. D'oh!!
At this point, I'd like to point out that I'm a big fan of Dustin Nguyen. I may be dating myself, but I loved "21 Jump Street". Great show. Anyway, Mr. Nguyen doesn't pull of the shirtless Bruce Lee look very well. Just had to point that out. The dude in "Mortal Kombat", or Jason Scott Lee in "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story"...they made that look good. Not Dustin. Okay, movin' on.
Next scene, MacLeod is mopping the floor with Charlie. Charlie calls for the end of the match, and Jimmy can't believe he's quitting. His old teacher wryly explains that in case he didn't notice, MacLeod just whupped his butt (or something like that). Jimmy decides to talk some smack, and asks MacLeod if he thinks he's pretty hot stuff. MacLeod responds that he's adequate, and Jimmy agrees with the assessment. The look on MacLeod's face is priceless...oooh how he wants to spank this kid. Charlie tells them to cool off.
MacLeod tries to make nice, and tells Jimmy that he's got a coupla nice moves. Jimmy, completely and utterly full of himself, asks MacLeod if he's seen any better. That's enough for MacLeod to come back with this zinger:
DM: "For a movie star, you're not too bad." Ouch.
Jimmy takes offense and grabs a katana off the dojo wall, whips it out, plays around a little, and places the blade against MacLeod's neck. I would think that would be the one thing that could make an immie nervous. However, MacLeod keeps his cool and tells Jimmy that one death is enough for this movie. Good point there, "...after all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus, but I'd still have to bum rides off people..." Hehehe...sorry, couldn't resist putting in a Ferris Bueller line.
We hear Charlie yelling for Jimmy, then we learn why. Seems the autopsy on the dead guy came back...poison in Ginseng tea. D'oh! Wasn't Jimmy yelling for Ginseng tea? Hmmm. MacLeod thinks maybe Jimmy was the target. Jimmy plays dumb, but MacLeod suspects he might know more about it than he's telling. He suggests Jimmy keep a low profile for a bit. At this point, Jimmy launches into a tirade about how he's on a train, and if that train stops, it's over. Charlie pipes in that MacLeod is making sense, but Jimmy blows him off, asking when he became such a wuss. Ouch. This kid has no respect for anybody. Jimmy walks out, and MacLeod comments that he guesses he's still in character. Hehehe.
The next scene has MacLeod coming out of the shower to find someone insistently knocking on the door. It's Ms. Producer, and she's miffed about MacLeod butting in about the deaths and what-not. She gives him the standard lecture about the movie biz and tells him to stay the holy heck off her set. MacLeod just can't win. Yawn.
Cut to: MacLeod and Charlie walking and talking. Charlie asks MacLeod to cut Jimmy a break and keep an eye on him. It's obvious Charlie still has warm feelings for his former pupil. MacLeod is about ready to write him off, but Charlie starts to explain Jimmy's past. His father kicked him out of an already bad home life at the age of 16.
C: "You think it's easy having your life turned upside down?"
At this point, we get an abbreviated flashback from "Family Tree", showing the cliff notes of MacLeod's First Death/Abandonment. This flashback was never good to look at, and it's even worse in abbreviated form. "Wayre dew ahee coam froam?" Gak.
Anyway, this convinces MacLeod, if not the viewer. He agrees to keep an eye on Jimmy. Speaking of Jimmy, he's at the park, doing an exhibition for some kids. Meanwhile, in another part of the city....
...we meet Mr. Johnny Leong, a Very Bad Man. He's meditating at a little shrine, which is a clear Bad Guy thing to do...I guess. For those interested in Highlander matching games, the actor here is none other than Robert Ito, from "The Samurai", in which he plays the Very Good Man Hideo Koto. There he was used effectively. Here...he is not.
Two of his henchmen stand before him, taking his ire for their blunder. The wrong man was poisoned. Bummer. They make excuses, and call him "Mr. Leong." Now, with my meager knowledge of Chinese culture, I would have thought they would address him with more respect, calling him "Father" or "Uncle". On the other hand, maybe the Cantonese just doesn't translate well. Anyway...back to....
...Jimmy bustin' boards at the park. The kids are thrilled, and Charlie is explaining to MacLeod that Jimmy comes down here a lot...he hasn't forgotten where he came from. The producer shows up and apologizes to MacLeod. They make up. Awww. Yawn. Now, the excitement starts. A big, black car pulls up, and one of Very Bad Man's thugs takes careful aim...oh, wait, if he was a professional, and took careful aim, he might injure one of the stars. So, he just points the gun in Jimmy's direction and starts popping off shots at him. People hit the ground, as if to avoid bullets that aren't even coming close to their intended target. MacLeod takes the opportunity to chase down the car and jump onto the hood. Predictably, they shake him off, but he does some nice handsprings as he hits the ground. Ooooh, purdy.
I'm sorry, but I have a hard time believing that thugs working for Mr. Very Bad Man would be so inept. If they'd really wanted to whack Jimmy, and if he indeed did these outdoor exhibitions a lot, wouldn't it have been simpler just to set a sniper and grease him? Suppress the weapon, and nobody would see a thing. Oh well.
So, the crew gets back to the dojo to find that the set has been utterly ransacked. Somebody tossed the entire place. They notice a peculiar symbol on the wall, and it spurs a....flashback....
...to an unnamed time and place. Seems that MacLeod is living in America, but hanging out in Little Italy. He pops in on his friend Giuseppe who owns a store on a busy street. His window is broken, and MacLeod inquires about it. Giuseppe explains that it's just kids being kids, but Mac doesn't buy it. His friend then shows him what was wrapped around the rock that broke the window. It's a black hand on a white sheet of paper. Dum-dum-dum (that's descending low pitches, by the way). Turns out that MacLeod's pal isn't paying for the protection racket, and he's cruisin' for trouble. MacLeod suggests they go to the police, and after some arguing, Giuseppe agrees. They'll go in the morning. MacLeod bids him farewell and walks away, only to notice too late that a hit is going down, and his friend is the target. He tries to save his friend, but winds up just getting shot himself.
Wonder of wonders, the thugs HIT something with their shots! Well, I guess when it suits the plot...
Anyway, we're back to present, and MacLeod realizes that the symbol is of a Tong. The producer dusts off her brain and realizes that the movie is about the Tongs. Hmmm. Jimmy says it's just a story he made up. Yah...okay.
Ms. Producer decides it'd be a good idea to shut down production for a few days and sort this stuff out. Jimmy disagrees, and fires her. D'oh!! He blows out of there, really mad, and Charlie comments that that kid has a serious attitude problem. Wow, he finally noticed!
Later on, MacLeod is having another heart-to-heart chat with the Producer (did we ever learn her name? Yeah, probably). He asks her about the story, trying to get a feel for how close it is to reality. She doesn't really know, but she knows he grew up in that culture....hmmm.
MacLeod goes to visit an old and dear friend who could have been a Chinese Darius. But Grandfather Lao is no Darius. Still, it might have been interesting to see how MacLeod met this man, and to know how much he knew of the Highlander's past. Anyway, MacLeod walks up to him from behind and is greeted before he is seen. He makes a formal bow to Grandfather Lao and asks how he knew who it was. Lao replies that every soul has its own aura, and that MacLeod's is very strong. Plus, he saw MacLeod's car. Hehehe.
They move into a conversation in which the sage tells MacLeod precisely nothing. MacLeod asks after Jimmy (and Jimmy's past) and learns nothing. He asks of the Tongs, and Grandfather Lao tells him that he should fear them. Sigh.
Okay, I'll take something back...Grandfather Lao DOES tell MacLeod that the man he should speak to is Johnny Leong. Go figure. That would be Mr. Very Bad Man.
So, now I'll interject with how offensive I found the presentation of Grandfather Lao. Practically everything coming out of his mouth could have been found in the inside of a fortune cookie at the Jade Garden Restaurant and Brewery. Ugh. They could have done better. Still, I liked the chemistry between the two actors, if not the dialogue. This character was someone MacLeod clearly loved, and it would have been nice to see him presented as someone WE should love.
Aaaaanyway....
MacLeod goes to see Mr. Very Bad Man, and humor ensues. The way MacLeod struts around, playing games with Leong is very funny, if a bit out of character. Still, it's easily the most entertaining part of the episode. When MacLeod first encounters Leong, he's standing beside a casket. He tells MacLeod that in this man's case (indicating the casket) a closed casket will be required. Ooooh, he's a Very Bad Man! He asks MacLeod his name...
DM: "Bond, James Bond." Hehehe.
They retire to Leong's office, and MacLeod starts playing games. He grabs a vase and starts tossing it in the air. This makes Mr. Very Bad Man nervous, but MacLeod assuages his angst by telling him the vase is a forgery. This impresses our Bad friend.
JL: "I begin to like you."
MacLeod responds that they should exchange numbers and hit the bowling alley sometime. Hehehe. At this, Mr. Leong loses patience. He explains that his people are great gamblers (true, from what I've read). He pulls out a revolver and ejects all but one bullet. Russian Roulette, anyone? He points it at MacLeod's leg, then asks where Jimmy Sang is...
...and MacLeod won't tell. Click. MacLeod doesn't even flinch. Instead, he tells Leong that if he stops extorting his people, he'll leave him alone. Gall. "I admire gall." HonorH'll know where that line came from. Leong isn't amused by MacLeod's boldness.
JL: "One has patience with children, small dogs..."
DM: "...and men with no honor."
Leong points the gun at MacLeod's head and tells him his luck has run out. Wrong! MacLeod, quick as a cat, removes the gun from Leong's hand and gets behind him with the gun to his head. Neato. Not his luck, but his patience ran out. The thugs obligingly back off when MacLeod tells them to. He spins the revolver once and makes to play a little more Russian Roulette, I imagine just to make Leong sweat. But, we know he's no cold-blooded killer, so he makes an exit, but only after shooting the fake vase.
Back at the dojo, Charlie and Ms. Producer are bending Jimmy's ear. They know that his "story" in the movie is true. Charlie tells Jimmy he's just trying to help him, but Jimmy's had about enough "help". He turns on Charlie, grabbing him by the throat. Charlie can't believe it. "I taught you better than this."
Enter MacLeod. He's just been itching for a fight with Jimmy, and now he gets it. He impedes Jimmy's progress as he tries to leave the dojo. Jimmy takes a swing, and gets a couple of knocks in the grill for his trouble. The fight is on! It's fun watching them, because they're both skilled martial artists. It's not long before Jimmy goes for a sword. Oh, baby, that's a mistake. MacLeod grabs two wakizashi and schools the kid...badly. He even gives him a smooth shave across his abdomen. Owie. MacLeod quits the battle after demonstrating his mastery. Jimmy lets out a howl at losing. D'oh!
The producer comes to see MacLeod in the loft, I'm assuming shortly after the pantsing of Jimmy. She asks him to help her star. MacLeod replies that he doesn't really know what he could do for him. In my opinion, spanking his stuck-up little butt was a pretty good start.
Just then, Charlie runs in, telling them that Jimmy split. He was really mad, and Charlie wants to go look for him. Reluctantly, MacLeod agrees to go with him. They find him outside Grandfather Lao's place, signing autographs and talking to kids. Lao shows up and greet Jimmy, who tells him he needs some advice. "I thought you needed nothing," comes the reply. Ouch. MacLeod shows up and Jimmy finally comes clean. Yes, he worked for the Tong to support his family. Ironically, Jimmy's father kicked him out for doing just that.
At this point I get really confused about the timeline of Jimmy Sang. At some point, he was with the Tong. At some point, he was Charlie's student. The storyline gives us no indication of the overlap of these periods in his life. I doubt Charlie would have taken kindly to his student being in the Tongs, but there is no indication that their relationship reflected any such tension (at least until now). This is the problem with half-baked scripts.
It's been approximately fifteen minutes since the bad guys tried for Jimmy last. Time for another feeble hit attempt. Thug #1 just walks up and starts unloading his gun toward Jimmy. Not AT Jimmy, because obviously no self-respecting Tong leader would hire a thug who couldn't shoot straight, now would he? Anyway, very predictably, Grandfather Lao is struck. MacLeod takes down the thug only to find that his old friend is now dead. And Jimmy is gone. D'oh!!!
Now comes the lamest part of this movie. Cut to, Thug #2 standing guard outside Johnny Leong's place. He hears something, and goes to investigate. Is it part of the Stupid Thug handbook that if you suspect somebody is waiting around a corner, that you come around the corner as closely as possible? I mean, if I have a gun, and something around a corner seems fishy, I'm walking sideways at a distance of about fifteen feet. Instead, thugboy walks as closely as possible to the wall, and finds himself the happy recipient of a Jimmy Sang knuckle-sandwich. Beeeg surprise there, eh?
Jimmy goes in to see his old boss, and Leong is angry about Jimmy leaving the Tong. He spouts some rubbish about how he gave Jimmy a family. "You gave me a GUN, Johnny!" He curses him for bleeding his own people for his own gain. But now, he says, that will end. He pulls out a tanto (Interesting, a Japanese dagger, even though Jimmy is Chinese) and threatens Johnny. Ooops, forgot about the other thugs....D'oh! Johnny grabs the tanto and draws it across Jimmy's palm...owie, then lays a viscious slap across his face, telling him that the traditional death for a traitor is very long and painful. Yeah, well, so is "The English Patient".
Leong takes Jimmy down to the crematorium and places him in a coffin, telling him he'll die by inches. Oooh...say it with me...he's a Very Bad Man. Of course, MacLeod shows up and tries to intervene as Jimmy moves inches closer to incineration. Now, we come to one of my favorite parts of this episode...MacLeod doesn't knock both guys out with one punch...he actually has some trouble with one of them. It's a good sequence, but it's overshadowed by the fact that....
...Johnny Leong is standing there, watching the melee, doing nothing about the fact that Jimmy is kicking his way out of the coffin. I guess he was just enjoying the fight as much as I was....what were the writers ON here? Jimmy gets out, MacLeod wins his fight. Jimmy grabs gun, Jimmy grabs Leong. Notice his right hand, the one with the bandage...that kind of cut should have bled through by now. Oh well. He wants to kill Johnny, but MacLeod intervenes. In a poorly acted scene, Jimmy relents, then lays a nasty slap across Leong's face. Yawn.
The tag scene is trite and unsatisfying. MacLeod comes to Grandfather Lao's place to find Jimmy tending the garden. MacLeod tells Jimmy that the main difference between a wise man and a fool is that the fool's mistakes never teach him anything. He needs to move on with his life. Make movies, get rich. Whatever. As MacLeod leaves, he tells Jimmy "this could be the start of a beautiful friendship." Gak.
This episode fails on so many levels, it's quite surprising it was actually filmed. Nonetheless, it was, and it's my duty to give it a good whuppin', and the same for all other episodes of its ilk. If you're one of the few who honestly enjoys this episode, take your temperature. If it's normal, shoot me an email and enlighten me as to what I've missed here.
That's my way of saying that all comments are welcome.
-Alaska Man